Morning Field Trip

Vito: We're back!!!

Zed: Ey! What's up with leaving me all alone in the house?

Garfield: Believe me, you didn't miss much. I should say, you're lucky you didn't go. Man I hate going for rides. Fairy dog here on the other hand was giggling the whole time.

Zed: Vito, you smell like a french whore. Where'd you guys go?

Garfield: I think it was called "Hell".

Vito: I was at the spa! It's the conditioner. Feel my fur, it's so soft!

Garfield: Yeah, we had to pick him up from the groomers on our way to "Hell". I kept yelling at the two humans that I was getting really car-sick, but they didn't pay attention to me. Tall Dude even had the nerve to shush me and tell me I was okay. Let's see if he can still say OKAY after I put them both in the trunk in a cramped crate and drive the back roads with twists and turns. (*grumbles something inaudible*)

Zed: You can't drive.

Garfield: Screw you!

Vito: Ugh! There was this bitch at the clinic and she kept trying to kiss me. Eeeww, I didn't want to get her drool on me especially after getting a spa treatment.

Garfield: Dude, she was practically throwing herself at you and you dissed her!

Vito: She's not my type!

Zed: (*snickers*) I think we have a good idea what "type" you like, hehehe.

Garfield: Man, I need to go rest for a little bit.

Zed: Why? What'd they do to you at the clinic?

Garfield: Again, it's called Hell, okay? Let's just say, being around other big species of the barking type, getting a thermometer shoved up your ass, jabbing a needle on both sides of your stomach, getting fondled by another human and calling it a "check-up", was not my idea of a field trip.

Zed: Ooohh, yeah, those visits are not fun.

Garfield: Shit, I feel like Hell now. Oh, by the way, they were talking about putting us on some new diet food. They said you're a fat-ass.

Zed: What?!! I am not fat! It’s all muscles!!!

Vito: Zed, when you start having trouble getting through the banisters, you are fat.

Zed: F*ck. I gotta start hoarding kibble then....