Road Trip

*Vito comes home from a West Virginia trip*

Garfield: Hey Veets! How is West-by-God-Virginia?

Vito: Not a beach vacation, that’s for sure.

Garfield: Someone’s in a shitty mood, why?

Vito: I didn’t get to go to the reunion.

Garfield: I didn’t know you were looking forward to going.

Vito: Beats getting locked in the bedroom the whole day. Granted, tall dude’s old man let me out when he was there.

Garfield: I’ve never met tall dude’s old man. How is he?

Vito: The people call him the Dog-Father. I’m the original Dog-Father!

Zed: *walks in the room* Sure, but now, you are the Fairy-Dog-Father.

Vito: Admit it, you missed me Zed.

Zed: Whatever you say, fairy-momma. I got the bed all to myself while you were away.

Garfield: Yeah, we missed tormenting you.

Vito: And I should be happy that you missed tormenting me? I guess any attention is better than no attention, but I may have to re-think on the tormenting part.

Garfield: So what did you get to do in WV?

Vito: Nothing really. Hung out with the cousins. We have some pretty large cousins in WV. This one humongous puppy kept on pestering me to play. I told her so many times that I did not want to play. She wouldn’t listen. I had to show her my bitchy side.

Zed: Oh, like when you bitch at me or Garfield for getting on the people bed with you?

Vito: My bed! Okay? No cat’s allowed on the bed.

Garfield: Yeah, only for “pussy’s” like you! Bwahahaha!!!

Vito: *glares at Garfield*

Garfield: By the way, why do you hate Flo? That chick in the Progressive commercials? You bitch and bark every single time her commercial comes on.

Vito: She has got to be the most annoying face and voice ever!!!

Zed: Did someone say chicken? I like chicken! Where’s the chicken?

Garfield: I said “chick”, not chicken… as in a girl…

Vito: Speaking of chicken, I got scolded on the trip home for taking one of tall dude’s chicken nuggets. They are so mean! They won’t share!

Garfield: I wouldn’t share with you either.

Vito: So, I was sitting shotgun with mommy, and she put the snack box in the middle console. I thought she put it out there for sharing. So I stuck my nose in the box and took a chicken nugget.

Zed: Yummy! Any more chicken left?

Vito: Oh, I was on to that nugget before they could take it away...yummy. I asked for some fries, but they won’t give me any. Selfishness!!

Garfield: Rude, I say. To YOU, not them.

Vito: Whatever. Man, that trip wore me out. I think I'm going to get some sleep. *walks to the bedroom*

Garfield: Hey Zed, Veets is back. We should give him that double-pounce-and-smack-routine we've been practicing over the weekend. *does a flip and roll* Why does he get to go on trips?

Zed: Remember, you're a wimp when it comes to car rides? That's a 4-hour long drive!!! You'd be a freaking basket case within the hour. But the more important question: are there any more chicken nuggets?

Garfield: *rolls his eyes at zed* I think I'll mess with the Princess while he sleeps, bwahahah...