Saturday, December 19, 2009

2009 Christmas Newsletter (uneditted version)

Zed: *singing* Sleigh bells ring, are you listening…

Vito: *sings along*…in the lane, snow is glistening…

Garfield: Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock!

Zed: what the f---? You had to be different, huh?

Garfield: I was thinking a Christmas medley.

Vito: *still singing*… A beautiful sight, we’re happy tonight, walking in a winter wonderland…

Zed: Hey, so since we didn’t get to do stuff this year, I think we need to come up with a plan of activities for next year.

Vito: Fun! Count me in!

Garfield: I don't want to plan any vacation with you. I'll probably end up sitting in a spa getting my claws painted and buffed if you could get away with it.

Vito: I know it's kinda hard for some people to be civilized. The urge to scratch on some wooden post is kinda...boorish...

Garfield: Do you even know what boorish means?

Vito: I do, do you?

Zed: Cut it out you two! Come on, gimme some ideas...

Garfield: Okay, write this down Zed, since you’re the one with the extra thumbs: Activity 1: Eat, Activity 2: Sleep, Activity 3: Use litter box, Activity 4: Annoy Tall Dude, Activity 5: Annoy Vito…wait, make Activity 5 number 1.

Zed: Du’h! Not those kinds of activities! Something like what Tall Dude and Mommy did this year.

Vito: It’s Daddy, not Tall Dude. Right, I remember them going to Tampa, Florida for Daddy’s graduation. He was a Cum Laude!

Garfield: Oh, those kinds of activities... Man, I would love to lay on the beach and watch the waves and surf a little. The pictures Mommy took of Treasure Island were beautiful!!!

Zed: Water and cats don’t mix. Remember that. Though I wouldn't mind watching the other kind of "waves" *dreamy grin on his face*

Vito: What other kind of waves?

Garfield: The kind that wears a two-piece bikini.

Zed: Is that why they call it cat calls?

Vito: *confused look* Whatver...I wish I could travel more…*sigh*

Zed: Hey, quit whining. You get to go on road trips with them. Like when Tall Dude’s brother got married. Did you get to go to the wedding? I heard it was a beautiful wedding.

Vito: Nah. They locked me up in the bedroom. Mommy was a bridesmaid and Daddy was the best man. I could have been a junior bridesmaid! *pouting*

Zed: *rolls his eyes*

Garfield: What about when you guys went to Mountainfest? Did you get to ride with Tall Dude on his motorcycle?

Vito: Nah. They locked me up in the bedroom too. Though I was with them when they went to the Baker reunion. Tall Dude got to ride with his brother Tim, cousin Danny, and uncle Dan. Maybe, if he installs a side car, then I’d get to ride too.

Garfield: That won’t happen. You’re more likely to be packed in a backpack, hahahaha!

Vito: What else did they do this year? Oh yeah! Mommy’s cousins and aunt from Canada came to visit and she went with them to the National Air and Space Museum.

Zed: That’s all good. But we still don’t have OUR plan of activities..??

Garfield: I do! Like I said, Activity 1: Annoy Vito, Activity 2: Eat, Activity 3: Sleep, Activity 4: Use the litter box, Activity 5: Annoy Tall Dude...

Vito: *starts singing* Santa Baby, just slip a sable under the tree, for me…

Zed: *ugh* you guys are fucking hopeless…