Suprise!!!

Setting:

Garfield comes home from the vet after getting neutered.

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Garfield: (*blink * blink* yawn*) Huh.. what happened?

Zed: Are you okay kiddo?

Garfield: Yeah, i feel groggy, dude...

Zed: Wait till you try to take a piss.

Garfield: Dude, my balls hurt like hell... AAHHH!!! WTF!!! WHERE ARE THEY!!!! M*ther F*cker, WHO DID THIS TO ME!!!!

Zed: (*walks over to the kibble bowl*) You'll be fine kiddo, just take it easy for a few days.

Vito: (*bounding down the stairs*) Yey! Garfield's back! I missed you buddy! (*gives garfield kisses*) What's wrong? Why do you smell funny? You're walking funny too... (*gasp*) They chopped your nuts off!!!

Garfield: Get away from me!

Vito: Sorry, honey, I didn't know. I give you more kisses and you'll feel better.

Garfield: I said, GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!!!

Zed: Hey, calm down. Mine were removed not too long ago, and I'm fine now. Give it a couple of days, just sleep and rest. Don't worry, it won't make you less of a tom.

Garfield: Oh yes it will!! OMG! it hurts so bad...(*shaking*)

Vito: Oh, I remember when they did it to me, I was so out of it, I almost fell over while peeing, but mommy and daddy took care of me.

Garfield: That tall dude! He was the one who tricked me into getting in that damn crate!!! He said we were only going for a ride.

Vito: I like rides!!! He's a nice daddy. He'll give you treats and belly rubs, mmm.. i like belly rubs... you know what else I like...

Zed: Shut up, Vito!

Vito: fine, fine, i'll shut up now...

Garfield: (*licks himself*) This hurts both my groin and my ego. That tall dude probably doesn't understand how it is to lose one's nuts.

Vito: He does, because I think mommy has them.