Midnight Munchies

Zed: *snore* ZZZZzzzzzzzz….

Garfield: hey, psst… zedo!

Zed: *sngork* ZZZzzzzzz…

Garfield: Zed! ZED!

Zed: *nyum-nyum-nyum* ZZZZzzzz…

Garfield: ZED!!!! *pounces on Zed’s tail*

Zed: Yeeeooowwwllll!! What the f*ck!!!

Garfield: I’m hungry.

Zed: What??? You want to eat my tail???!!

Garfield: Dumbass...

Zed: Oh… Let’s wake them up then. I can always have a midnight snack.

Garfield: The door’s closed. I tried to reach the doorknob, but I can’t turn it. I tried scaling the doorjamb, but I keep on sliding.

Zed: Have you tried yelling for them?

Garfield: Yeah, still no answer. And why in the hell is Vito sleeping in there with them? Is he some kind of favorite?

Zed: He sleeps in a crate - a tiny space. Be grateful you have the rest of the house.

Garfield: Oh. So, I’m still hungry. C’mon, I know where she keeps the canned stuff.

Zed: Right there in the drawer.

Garfield: Follow me.

Zed: *stretch* Nyum-nyum-nyum..

Garfield: *Grabs the edge of the drawer with his nails and pulls* BAM!!!

Zed: Ssshhhh!!!

Garfield: Sorry, it slipped. *grabs harder on the edge of the drawer and pulls*

Zed: Sweeeet…

Garfield: Here catch! *hooks a claw under the tab of the cat food and throws it at Zed*

Zed: But it’s not open yet.

Garfield: Of course dumbass!! You have the six toes, now make use of them!

Zed: arrgghhh!!! It’s gonna rip my nail off…

Garfield: So now, are you like Vito, a sissy? Oh my nails! Oh my nails!

Zed: AAarrgghhh!!! *huff* It won’t budge.

Garfield: Give me that! *slaps the can around* Open! You good for nothing piece of shit! Give me my food!!! Waaaaaahhh!!!

Zed: Hehehehe… now who’s a sissy, cry-baby?

Garfield: You know I can beat your big fat furry stinky ass, come here!!!

Zed: Yeeeoowwwlll!!!!

(And that’s how I found a can of cat food on the floor the next morning, with the cabinet drawers open.)