My Bed

Vito: Uhm.. Zed… can you get out of my bed please?

Zed: No.

Vito: But, I’m really tired…

Zed: No. You can sleep on the floor mat.

Vito: But the mat stinks like feet.

Zed: Too bad. (*stretches and lays on his back*)

Vito: You have other places to sleep, the chair, the cat tree, the couch. (*whining now*)

Zed: I feel like resting here.

Vito: But I’m asking nicely.

Zed: Yes, you asked very nicely. Good doggie.

Vito: (*looks to Garfield*) Garfield, can you ask Zed to go find another place to rest in.

Garfield: Oh now you need my help, when you keep on running me out of the bedroom.

Vito: Please guys, that’s my bed! You can get up on pretty much anywhere!

Zed: Yes, but this is my bed TODAY.

Vito: I’m telling mommy.

Zed: (*sch-ing* unsheathes his claws*) You won’t dare.

Vito: Watch! MOM!!! ZED WON’T GET OUT OF MY BED!!!

Garfield: Oh, you’re dead, Vito.

Zed: *ggrrrrr*

(Mommy picks Zed off the bed)

Zed: PUT ME DOWN WOMAN!!!! (*gets dropped on the floor mat*)

Vito: Whoopee!!! My bed, my bed… hehehehe

Zed: You’re safe now since your mommy is in the house. Wait until she goes back to work. (*gives Vito a scorching look*)

Vito: PPffttt…when she’s at work, she gates off the kitchen where I stay. And you can’t scale the gate coz you’re too fat!!! Ppfffttt….

Garfield: He’s got a point Zed.

Zed: Oh f*ck off! (*stomps outs of the living room and down to the basement*)